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Elizabeth Engel: Well, That Was Pathetic

January 5th, 2010, 04:01 am admin Leave a comment Go to comments

As You-Two-Calm-Down-or-I’m-Turning-Off-the-TV Dad pointed out, we should probably issue an APB for the Eagles. Who were those guys in the green jerseys yesterday, and what did they do with our team?

We literally could not do a single thing right. The line couldn’t protect McNabb. When they did, receivers couldn’t get open. When they did, McNabb couldn’t get the ball to them. When he did, they couldn’t catch it. When they did, they couldn’t move the chains.

For chrissakes, Andy Reid decided to go for the 53 yard field goal rather than going for it on 4-2 on the Cowboys 35. And Akers MISSED.

Maclin ran the wrong route at least twice on key plays. “5 and Dime” turned into “keep the change” as McNabb did the impossible, overthrowing Peanut. Twice. We had ONE red zone possession. In the ENTIRE game. And a bad Nick Cole snap led to a fumble that poor O-line play didn’t even allow Big5 time to pick up.

And why weren’t we blitzing more? Our D let us get way too far behind in the first half. Then we dumped the run entirely and everyone tried to do too much every single offensive play in the second half. There was no “Catch ball –> secure ball –> try to get some YAC –> try to move the sticks.” No, it became, “I HAVE TO SCORE A TD ALL BY MYSELF RIGHT NOW ON THIS PLAY NOWNOWNOW!” for everyone.

Did they not understand that we were supposed to WIN THIS week so we could REST NEXT week? Did the Cowboys training staff sneakily mix up our Gatorade with vodka rather than water? I’m not usually one to blame the coaches – it’s the players who are on the field needing to, you know, MAKE PLAYS – but when the ENTIRE team shows up completely unready to play, that’s on the coaches. Who have 6 days to pull their heads out of their asses and figure this thing out.

Now, instead of getting to chill while watching the Vikings beat the Cowboys over mai tais in the Akers’ rumpus room, we have to go BACK to Dallas and do it ourselves.

At least we don’t have to worry that the Cowboys have already seen all our good stuff, since they’ve seen NONE of our good stuff. Hell, we could complete a screen pass for 5 yards, and the Cowboys would be like, “Where did THAT come from?” Ah well, as Chef Spouse pointed out, at least none of our guys cried.

Get the rest at Snarkin’ the NFL.

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